When I wrote my 101 things in 1001 day goal list, I was in a three year relationship with the man I loved. I had dreams of marrying, owning a home, with a white picket fence to keep in the german shepherd puppy I yearned to have. When I wrote this goal, my reasoning behind it was to be able to wear an engagement ring, to say I’ve stood by the man I loved and say to the world that I was finally engaged.
That wasn’t the case.
It’s been three months for me to be able to write about this goal. The ring has reminded me of pain, it has made me cry, it has made me hope and wish and it has made me realize I have support. These months have been painful, incredibly heart wrenching demoralizing-ly painful. I thought I was complete, I thought I was fine, but I wasn’t, I’m still not. I sometimes still cry myself to sleep and I sometimes get angry at people when they are not at fault. Sometimes I feel so helplessly alone that I have no one in this world.
A ring doesn’t have to symbolize ‘you are mine’ sometimes it just needs to be worn as a simple reminder of “I’m there for you, through thick and thin, no matter what you choose. I’m there for you to have support, to have a friend to come cry to.”
Despite crying while writing this I know I have support just by looking at it, thank you K.
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H, this post is so strong. I cannot image going through that type of pain, and just wanted to let you know how incredibly strong you are. If you ever need to talk, I am here for you :) hugs.
thank you for being so real in this post, heather. it’s great to know when you have someone by your side through the tough times and the great ones. :) have a great weekend!
I have totally been there…and trust me, it WILL get better!
Heather, I’m so sorry…the pain does get a little easier(I know)have your crys, get stinking mad, be pissed at everything and everyone…because you are allowed to and slowly things have a way of turning out. You are very lucky to have the love and support of family and dear friends. Take care of yourself
You are so strong, Heather. I second what Lizzie said- I can’t imagine going through that, but I know you are strong and I know you will make it. ((hugs))